If ever I get this I want the black one… i just have a thing for black gadgets and I am trying my best to get most of mine in the black color. There is just something about it that makes stuff look classy. In addition, if ever I get this it would be my first Mac. For most part of my life I have been using a PC so this would be a big change. But Apple has been proving itself these days with the iPods and iPhones so I think switching to a Mac now is a good time… I got to try this at an Apple Store and its interface is amazing… it will definitely take some getting use to but it sure is a sweet laptop.
I am totally clueless on what to do… its like I have played all my cards and nothing just seems to work my way. I cannot help but think that maybe I am not destined for this career or this country or maybe both. I keep on pushing myself towards this dream that in the end might not be even for me. I want to badly live the “American Dream” but it seems like it doesn’t allow me to. Clearly, not everything seems to be going in my direction and that makes me think if this is truly the direction that life has stored for me.
It sucks that I cry every night about this and the only thing that can make me sleep is when I am super tired and exhausted. I cannot think and act right because I have this big weight on my shoulders. Its constantly in my head its all I ever think about. I am naturally a pessimist but at this point I have clearly doubted myself and everything I have going for myself. This is truly an all time low point in my life.
Being here in the US has been my dream ever since I was a kid and everyone who knows me knows that. It’s just frustrating how things are turning out for me at this point… slowly I am really just losing hope. I am just praying that he gives me longer patience not to give up on this dream.
Don’t get me wrong life has been pretty good to me. But I have come to a point where you feel exhausted constantly thinking about your future and its uncertainty.
I remember my dad telling me that my life’s path is not an easy one just like his. Everything has to be given so much effort and hard work. But because everything was done with so much perseverance I still end up succeeding. It takes time but I eventually get there.
I just hope that things will get better very soon. It is an everyday constant struggle for me to keep the momentum going. And that despite the fact that everything does not seem to be going my way I just have to keep on moving forward.