Confused, Puzzled and Drained…

I didn’t realize that starting a career would be this difficult and complicated. I underestimated it for the most part since I really thought that after college and having a degree everything will get better. In my field and my situation getting to my dream has been a constant struggle and emotionally draining.

I am totally clueless on what to do… its like I have played all my cards and nothing just seems to work my way. I cannot help but think that maybe I am not destined for this career or this country or maybe both. I keep on pushing myself towards this dream that in the end might not be even for me. I want to badly live the “American Dream” but it seems like it doesn’t allow me to. Clearly, not everything seems to be going in my direction and that makes me think if this is truly the direction that life has stored for me.

It sucks that I cry every night about this and the only thing that can make me sleep is when I am super tired and exhausted. I cannot think and act right because I have this big weight on my shoulders. Its constantly in my head its all I ever think about. I am naturally a pessimist but at this point I have clearly doubted myself and everything I have going for myself. This is truly an all time low point in my life.

Being here in the US has been my dream ever since I was a kid and everyone who knows me knows that. It’s just frustrating how things are turning out for me at this point… slowly I am really just losing hope. I am just praying that he gives me longer patience not to give up on this dream.

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