In Pursuit of Happyness

Never let anybody take away your dream

Yup you read it right its the movie Will Smith and his son is in. I have always wanted to see this film the moment I laid eyes on its trailer way back when I was in the Philippines. Too bad before I left the country the movie was just about to be shown.

I always had it in mind to have it on queue on my brother’s Netflix account only to find out that it was going to come out yesterday and my brother told me he was going to get it on DVD. He said it was inspiring and I needed inspiration.

I also know that I promised myself that I would not be writing here in my blog until after my exams but I could not help myself after watching the movie. I felt I needed to reflect on my own life… I just needed a release.

There were scenes in the movie that made me cry one of which was when Chris and his son went to the beach just to get away from everything I think it was the same place that my brother brought me when I first arrived here in San Francisco. That day was so special for TWO reasons:

  • After a year and eight months I finally get to see my brother in the flesh. It was the most wonderful feeling. I was in complete awe that day to the point that I couldn’ t even cry because I was in such disbelief that he was there in front of me, that we were able to bond, share opinions, thoughts, ideas face to face.
  • Another thing going through my head was that I was finally here in America going through the last steps towards my future and career. It was so surreal that soon enough I was going to live the life I have always dreamt of for me and my family.

And then another scene in the movie that I will never forget was when he was hired in the company when Chris was all teary eyed while he was being accepted in the company after the 6 months internship.

I cried because I know how it felt and in a way I hope I would feel that way again. (Kind of confusing huh?) Well I never thought that I would be going through pretty tough times when I chose this profession my four years in college was pretty hard and then my licensure exam in the Philippines and its surrounding controversies was another pain in the head both mentally and emotionally.

And now that another challenge is on my way I hope I can surpass this challenge successfully among all the exams that I am going to take this is THE exam its like the WRESTLEMANIA of all my licensure exams (uhm okay where the heck did this analogy come from??? i just had to put something about WWE somewhere… cannot help it… sorry!!!)

Kidding aside, this is really an important exam for me and being in a position wherein you do not know what is going to happen is pretty uncomfortable. I remember when I fixed the requirements needed in taking this exam I was just so focused and I made sure that every detail was right. I was so pissed after a month when they wrote a letter asking for additional requirements that was not part of the original requirements they had because I know it would take my application longer and then it was not a normal document in school so it took them quite some time to accomplish. And then I received a call from my brother and sister in law informing me that I lacked more documents and hearing that just made my heart sank and then they told me eventually that it was a joke that I had an AUTHORIZATION TO TEST.

That moment pretty much sucked because I was on the verge of crying upon hearing those words… when they told me that they were just kidding me I CRIED. For some strange reason I didn’t even know why I was crying I mean it was just a paper giving me the GO signal to be able to take the NCLEX-RN exam its not even passing the exam yet (I am so weird).

But looking at it now, I think it just shows how badly I want to make it through this test and I hope I make it.

There is this little part of me that feels scared, anxious, ambivalent and uncertain on how this exam would go for me that is a given. You can never predict what questions are going to come out so at the end of the day as long as you work hard, give your best effort and ask for his guidance you will do great.

The scene in the movie wherein Chris ran out of the building with all the people whom he referred to as “happy” and then him finally experiencing that moment because he got the job I hope I get that feeling again soon. I cannot help but keep on running that moment in my head over and over again. This would be a moment of happiness for me and the people around me. And after that it starts again… we will always find something to make us happy…

Personally, I will always be in pursuit of happiness… we will always be (I think).

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