My anxiety level is kind of up there already considering I have less than a week before my actual exam day. Its kind of scary thinking that an exam will be able to dictate how my career would go but then again it will still be up to me how I would want things to happen after all I am going to be the one giving the answers to those test questions.
Its kind of funny because I really never expected that things would be like this for me… it was very challenging to choose Nursing as my profession… anyone could get the degree but its another thing to fulfill it… and the only way I am going to do that is to be a REGISTERED NURSE. Taking these exams can really make you or break you… of course I hope I make it this has been my dream.
I feel ambivalent because I cannot wait to finish taking this exam because I can do whatever I want and I can go wherever I want to go with nothing holding me down since you know you have obligations prior to the exam. At some point, I think I do not want to take the exams because of the weight it bears for my career and future. I am afraid to wait for the unknown… the result if I pass or fail so as much as I can do what I want still at the back of my head I will still think about the exam… it will be there until the results come out.
But then I cannot help but think of things to do after I take the exam and I think me and my brother will start it with something good to do.
On March 31st after I take my exam me, my brother, sister in law and baby Lia will go out in San Jose and visit Valley Fair. Its their way of celebrating with me getting through with the exam and we will eat at CHEESECAKE FACTORY which is absolutely the best place ever and is absolutely one of my favorite restaurants here… and as their name tells it they have the best cheesecakes ever… (I just hope I am worthy of this celebration). Then we go out for a little while and walk around Valley Fair since this will also be the first time my Ate Malou goes out after being on house arrest/ bed rest for her recovery.
And then yesterday I got inspired and missed cooking… so I told my Ate and Kuya that I will cook on April 1st. I will cook my specialty dish which is BAKED MACARONI/ SPAGHETTI whichever works… we were originally going to order ROUND TABLE PIZZA because we are going to watch WRESTLEMANIA 23 so that is still on the table and then maybe I will also cook up desert. (it is weird I feel like I am a bit like Izzie in Grey’s Anatomy wherein she cooked all those muffins when she was stressed out… its my release on my anxiety for the exam). And then hopefully by 4PM I would be done and just have a blast watching Wrestlemania 23 with some alco-pop in hand. April 1 is going to be such an awesome day… I really hope so.
And then after that… I really do not know what else I would do… I am looking forward to the day wherein my niece would be sleeping in her crib wherein my bed is also in… so we would be room mates… that is going to be fun… because I get to really spend time with her and you know get to experience the real deal of waking up early in the morning to feed her, change dirty diapers… its going to be fun.
I also know that my Kuya and Ate’s Wedding Civil Anniversary is coming up I know I won’t be included in that but its still a celebration.
Its a crammed birthday week for us here since its John Cena’s birthday on the 23rd then my mom celebrates her birthday on the 24th and then my Ate on the 26th… woohoo… PARTY!!!
Hmmm what else… I know there will be more stuff to do here to keep me busy after the exams… the study part is over but then the wait would be more grueling… I just hope I make it… my life depends on it and I need to make it and above everything else people are rooting for me I cannot let them down.